I'm 21 y/o and My Mom Took My Phone
It's not as bad as it seems, I promise.
No, my mom did not take my phone from me because I forgot to turn in my canvas assignment on time or because I forgot to do the dishes last night. My mom took my phone from me because I asked her. Yes, this piece has to do with my phone addiction.
It’s Spring Break. As a graduating senior, this is the last little bit of relaxation I’m afforded before I’m thrust into finals season and have to embark on my post-graduate life. Based off my previous breaks when I go home, I typically spend my days in the following order:
Wake Up to scroll on my social media rotation for 2 hours
Get up and it’s now 11am, so I don’t know if I should eat breakfast or lunch
Somehow stumble into getting ready and doing my morning hygiene
If I put on something other than pajamas, I must have something important to do that day
Alternate between eating, scrolling on my phone, binge watching a show or anime, and being on the phone with my friends and partner
By now it’s about 10pm, and I get in the bed to continue the cycle until it’s 1am and I can’t keep my eyes open anymore
To sum it up, what is supposed to be a relaxing break ends up being a weeklong brain rotting session. Unsurprisingly, this makes me feel the exact opposite of relaxed. I’ll spend my daylight comparing myself to people my age, beating myself up for what I’m not doing and laughing at the same reels audio then suddenly seeing something I didn’t want to see and logging off my phone traumatized… My typical Jaeda breaks, I wouldn’t recommend. 0 stars.
This semester being the most stressful one I have went through all 4 years of college, I’ve become shockingly aware of how stressed-out certain activities make me. I’ve been addicted to social media since high school, but I didn’t become aware of how icky it actually started to make me feel until now. It’s like my moral compass can no longer stand idly and let me scroll. It’s like as soon as I pick up my phone to do something unproductive, my brain just points out everything I could be doing instead to make myself feel better.
Obviously, my scrolling is a form of self-sabotage. I’m a creative and I love my hobbies. But that statement has been supported by zero action as of late. So, knowing that I was going to have this spring break coming up I decided to not waste it. I challenged myself to not only do my hobbies, but I decided to let my mom do what my mom does best which is take my phone.
My mom hated how glued we became to our phones once we upgraded from our Samsung slide phones to our iPhones in high school. If we ever got in trouble, we didn’t even get the chance to rebuttal, our phones were gone.
My parents were never ones to let us roam onto the technological spear without boundaries. Growing up we weren’t allowed to play video games unless it was the weekend, we could only watch TV for a certain number of hours during the day. This made me and my brothers the scholars and creatives we are today. It’s why I enjoy reading more than scrolling on TikTok, or why I love creating my own stories over watching television series. I didn’t think the warning about college extended to this aspect of my life though.
One of the hardest transitions people told me about going to college, is the fact that you’re responsible for almost everything now. No one is going to wake you up for school, tell you to cook and clean, or tell you what’s right or wrong. I’m aware that not everyone had the privilege to get this experience after high school, and some had to learn these lessons at a much earlier age. I’m grateful for my coming up in that aspect.
My phone addiction increased each year in college. As I became more involved on campus and started having more digital responsibilities, I found myself inseparable from my phone. To the point, I became the stereotypical person that checks their phone when someone is talking to them. Yeah, I’m not perfect…
This spring break, I told myself enough is enough. I have this whole week that I can fill with reading meaningful texts, applying for jobs, spending time with hometown friends, and actually relaxing and resting. So, I decided to enlist my mom in helping me actually achieve these things.
(I’d like to acknowledge that yes, it’s sad that my discipline to not be on my phone is nonexistent. As someone that struggles with a mental disorder though, my phone has been my fastest route to escape from my thoughts, so it was really easy to get addicted to it. I’m being vulnerable with my struggles to hopefully let someone on the internet know that it’s okay to ask for help in your journey of self-improvement. Not everything has to be done cold turkey. If you’re someone that criticizes people for not improving on their own, go eat a moldy sandwich. It doesn’t make you less than anyone else to ask for help, so if you need it, please ask!)
Today being the first day of my phone being taken I have observed the following:
Time moves much slower when I don’t have my phone.
I have so much time. I actually just woke up today and went to eat breakfast within less than 30 minutes, and I got in a 2-hour nap in the morning!!!!
Eating is laborious and loud, I never realized how loud chewing in silence is
I loooooooooooooove reading, I forgot how I can just eat up a good book
Applying for jobs isn’t as daunting as my mind makes it seem
I’m less bored without my phone because I’m now sitting with all the stuff I could do and to not act on them, I’m very aware of how I’m self-sabotaging
I’ll probably continue to update my account with notes about the observations I’ve made. My mom does give me my phone if I get a call or tell her I need to text or call someone, and she gives it back after around 8:30 so I can still do my brain rotting night scroll if I wanted to. However, I don’t, so I deleted all social media except Substack and reddit off my phone. (That is as far as I will go) So far, it’s made my phone quite useless, even when I scroll on those apps, if I start to feel like I’m just on Instagram again I close them and ask myself “What else could I be doing.”
I consider this a personal case study since I’m only going to be home for this week. Maybe though, it’ll help me create better habits for my phone once I go back to school. Wish me luck!